Weight
by Nayru Elric
Summary: His arms were the only thing I was assured of. If I kept my distance, I knew I could face the darkness alone. (LeoPika one-shot for the Hunter x Hunter Gift Exchange 2018)


**Summary:** His arms were the only thing I was assured of. As long as I kept my distance, I knew I could face the darkness alone.

* * *

 **Weight**

* * *

"…pika… Kurapika…"

The shades covered the light coming from the window, causing the air inside the motel room to be heavy.

"Kurapika!"

His voice was gruff and full of warmth. I rolled over, to my other side. Cushions billowed all around me on the bed, shrouding me in their lavish folds. Through the blankets slowly consuming my body, I peered over at the man, who chuckled.

Grumpily, I inquired, "What do _you_ want?"

He wasn't fooled by my sour mood. In one swift motion, both arms were on either side of me, flattening the bed cushions so he could see my face. Hovering over me, he said, "I just wanted to tell you how ridiculous you look." Leorio's mouth spread in a smile. In spite of my feigned ire, he leaned down, pressing his lips against my cheek. My scowl dissolved as I giggled from his stubble tickling my face. His lips trailed across to the corner of my mouth, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He leaned back to look at me, tenderness in his dark eyes.

My smile waned. "You're leaving."

"Yeah. The semester starts in less than a week. And even if I am a Hunter now, I should have gotten the registration papers in a week ago."

The weight of his body against mine lifted from the bed as he got up. I exhaled through my nostrils disappointedly.

"I don't wanna wait any longer and risk it," Leorio said briskly as he shuffled through the clothes on the floor in search of his pants. He ran a hand through his hair when he couldn't find it, until an "Ah-ha!" lit his voice. Donning his pants, he excitedly began rattling off information about which campus he'd chosen while brushing his teeth in the bathroom – a university rated one of the best in the world for its medical program and amenities to spare.

Out of Leorio's line of sight, I could no longer fool myself. We'd spent the last few weeks on the Zoldyck Estate, saving the young Killua from his life of shadows. Him and Gon parted from us just yesterday, and when Leorio and I realized we were headed in the same direction, we decided to spend another night traveling together. It hadn't taken long before we found ourselves in a motel room, alone – and with the kids gone… things had become rather heated.

As I listened to Leorio gush over his university, my fingers probed my eyes for tears. Leorio popped his head out of the bathroom, and the toothy grin plastered on his face faded. I quickly corrected my forlorn expression. "That sounds wonderful," I averred, though my lips strained. More genuine in my tone this time, I added, "I'm sure Gon and Killua would be proud of you too."

"You… you think so?" Leorio asked. A hand flew to the back of his neck as he blushed. He was in a white muscle shirt and grey sweatpants now.

A white sleeveless shirt adorned my upper body; I nodded, exuberant. "Yes! You're going to make a lot of people proud, and save many lives."

"Yeah…" Leorio seemed caught in a daze as he traced over my words, but he sobered to look at me in sincerity. "And what about you, Kurapika?"

I bit my lip. A part of me wanted to drop the charade and proclaim my affection for him, follow him to school.

But there was no way I could do that.

I owed my life to my clansmen… and even that was not enough.

"Well, a job in the underworld suits the goal I'm after. So that's what I'll be going for next."

A knowing look passed over his kind eyes.

 **. . .**

At the airship port, Leorio extended that devious but no less gentle half-smile. His lingering hand on my shoulder with a soft "See you later," was returned with an arid smile of my own. I could do no more. The moment he stepped onboard, I knew this was the last moment of peace I would have. I could no longer hesitate. Not until I had the Scarlet Eyes of my brethren in my arms, and laid my own on the dead bodies of every last Spider.

* * *

 **~ Yorknew ~**

* * *

Familiar voices and dulled, fuzzy images of faces melded in the dank space around me as I lay prone on a springboard bed. I didn't know where I was, or how I got there. I felt only the presence of confinement in worn, concrete walls. The rank smell of mold assaulted my weakened senses.

A feeling of warmth emanated. From the people who passed in and out, no doubt.

They must be my friends.

By the time I came fully to, I heard a murmur in the next room, but found myself blinded by the faint light from the single window. Painstakingly, I pulled myself up, rounding my back as I rubbed my aching forehead. "Leorio…?"

I already knew he wasn't there. I had seen him not long ago. He told me something akin to the Spiders were still out there, looking for me, and that I should rest. His deft hands placed a heat press on my head, and then I'd blacked out again.

So much had happened the last few days. Miraculously, I had managed to stay my anger long enough to save my friends – or rather, it was my friends who snapped me back to reality, and made me remember what was truly important.

It wasn't long after I realized they were safe and sound that I passed out from Nen overexhaustion, and found myself back at square one.

I was alone in this room, where I took in the empty quality of the cracked concrete walls, and the sound of cars driving somewhere outside. It was daytime now. Reaching over to the bedside table – which had a energy-tea drink mix on top – I checked my phone. Melody had left me voicemail. When I put the phone to my ear, her soft tones advised me to get some well-needed rest before coming back to work.

Slowly, the phone and my hand fell, and my gaze fell past the depressing, cracked walls.

…I still remembered his fingers gently caressing my sides, and that sympathetic gaze, his skin against mine…

It was only one night.

But now was no time for warm recollections.

* * *

 **~ Hunter Election ~**

* * *

In only a few years, I've nearly accomplished my goal.

The Nostrade empire is falling, which is no longer any of my concern. I have all but several pairs of Scarlet Eyes in the ownership of a single madman, Prince Tserriednich Hui Guo Rou of the Kakin Empire. Just that remains, and then…

… _what?_

He's called me many times in the past few months – Leorio. I avoided answering, too fixated on my goal to be distracted. Not when I'm this close to redemption.

The dark basement pierced by the red eyes of my clansmen keeps me focused enough to not give in. I'm sure the elections for the Hunter Association have something to do with Leorio's excessive amount of phone calls. That's when they started – but by the time Mizaistom coaxes me into becoming one of the Zodiacs and embark on the journey to the Dark Continent, where my final target stands in the limelight, I have three new phone calls in my notifications.

I'm about to switch it off yet again when my phone buzzes anew. His name flashes across the top of the screen.

Taking a deep breath, I finally bring the phone to my ear.

"Kurapika! How have you been?!"

He's obviously been sick with worry, judging by the incredulous – and slightly pissed – air to his voice. Just hearing him again, even if he's angry, immediately plunges my heart into coolness. "Leorio." A pause. "I've been well," I say, though it's far from the truth.

"Hey, what do you say we get together before the trip to the Dark Continent? They told you I'm a part of the Zodiacs now, right?"

"Yes." He knew mention of the Scarlet Eyes would have me on the team in no time. I'm about to decline his offer, when Leorio says hurriedly, "Gon and Killua are fine by the way. I saw them – or Gon, at least – a few days ago." The subduedness in his tone surprises me, until he continues, "They've… been through a lot. They're taking some time to themselves now, so they won't be coming."

There's another silence, conveying to me that there's more to what he's saying. When Leorio speaks again, his voice has lowered to an almost-whisper. "Kurapika, I have so much to tell you."

It's on the tip of my tongue, a simple, _I've missed you,_ yet I can't get it out. Frustrated at myself – for forgetting my friends and pushing them away from me once again – tears form in my eyes. I clench my fist, gritting my teeth to hold my tongue – and the sobs threatening to escape my throat.

"Please," Leorio breathes out, as though he knows I'm holding tears. "It's the holidays, you know. Almost the same time when we met in the Hunter Exam a few years ago, and I… well, I'd really like to see you again."

Glancing around my current establishment, my lips tremble. The watery film over my eyes filters the dark walls, sharp shades, and bold furniture and decor, but the tears don't quite fall. This cold place is my home now. I can't go fooling myself into believing otherwise. Not for Leorio, or anyone else.

After a time, I've recovered enough composure to force out, "Maybe another time." There's a grating silence on the other end as I'm about to take the phone from my ear, but then…

His hand on my shoulder before we parted at the airport weighs on me. The way his eyes lit up when he smiled. His energetic declarations when he's passionate about something; or the sureness in his stance when he was determined not to let Gon and I face the Phantom Troupe on our own flash like warm bulbs of light in my mind.

It really wasn't too long ago. We weren't always such strangers…

Back then, I'd believed I could do everything on my own, and that it was better that way. It was Gon, Killua, and Leorio who showed me time and time again that I was wrong.

"Actually," I cut in, out of breath and belated. _The expedition isn't for a while. One day away won't cost me anything…_ "Where would you like to meet?"

The relieved disbelief in Leorio's voice as he breathes out is palpable through the phone. "I know just the place."

* * *

 **Here is my piece for the Hunter x Hunter Gift Exchange 2018 through hxhgiftexchange on Tumblr! It was actually really nice to write about Kurapika again, especially across the entire series. When I first watched** _ **Hunter x Hunter**_ **in 2014, Kurapika was my favorite character, whom I wrote for prolifically – one of the fics was a long-term fic I've since deleted, but had to do a lot of research for. This fic forced me to go back and reread some of the** _ **HxH**_ **chapters that inspired that fic in the first place. So much has happened since 2014 that this story felt like I was gazing into the past, and I can see how far I've grown both as a writer and a person.**

 **This is my disclaimer that I actually don't ship LeoPika, but I've often thought about how a relationship would work between them in the canon series since I know a lot of people are into it. This is what I came up with! Thanks for giving me the chance to write my interpretation, Tiburme~! ^^**

 **I want to wish all of my readers a happy New Year in 2019! Please don't forget to leave your thoughts below.**


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